being loved by our children

i mean, lets be honest here. is there really anything better than the love we get from our children? those of you who don't have them.. well you just won't understand until you do. it is by far (in my eyes) the absolute best love you can receive. it is so pure. it is without strings. it is so completely unconditional. in other words, it's the bomb and it can make you feel amazing when you don't really feel amazing. 

tonight i wasn't feeling that great. don't know why but i just wasn't feeling myself. felt a little depressed. i put both of the girls down for bed and they both weren't having it. i was frustrated at first. they are both such good sleepers, what in the world was going on?! i took a minute and felt like maybe i should just give them a little help.. i grabbed quinn's bottle that she hadn't finished, got her out of bed and gave her the rest while i rocked her to sleep. something about watching my sweet baby girl look me in the eyes with her sweet sleepy blue eyes just melted my heart right then and there. that's all she need to be happy. was a bottle and her mama holding her tight.  what a beautiful thing. 

after quinn was tucked away sleeping her in crib i came out only to find that brooklynn was still having a hard time falling asleep. so again instead of being frustrated i got in bed with her and told her i would lay in bed with her until she fell asleep. she then proceeded to put her arms all the way around my next and said, "i love you so much mom, you're my best friend". be still my heart. i don't think it is possible to feel happier than i did at that moment. as i laid there scratching her back as she drifted off to sleep i realized that no matter what is going on in my life no matter if i'm feeling down for this reason or not.. i have these two sweet girls.. and that to them i am everything. i am their world. that's enough to get me through a life time and more. 

i love these sweet girls with my whole entire heart. 

pre-school

brooklynn started pre-school last week. this is so huge for her. i have been dreading having her go to preschool since she was about 15 months old and developed a major attachment to me. she cried hysterically every time i left her with anyone else. every. single. time. it stressed me out. what was i going to do when she had to start school? was she going to be that kid who is screaming as i leave her with her teacher? the thought killed me. stressed me out. 

but about a month ago she made a huge break through. at our church she started her sunbeam class where for 2 hours she is in a school type setting. i was so nervous for this but at least i would be just down the hall. the first sunday she was nervous but she came out a new girl. she absolutely loved it. so when we started pre-school to told her it was similar. she was pumped and so excited. she went with no fight at all. she asks every day if today she gets to go to pre-school. i am still in shock that she goes so willingly. 

i have spent so many nights praying that she would break out of her shell that she would be able to show the world the amazing, smart, funny girl i see in the walls of my home. she's a pretty amazing little girl and i am beyond proud of her!

we're moving...

we are moving to...

(drumroll please)

bakersfield, califoria

now i have to admit i at first didn't have the best attitude about moving to bakersfield... i just feel like i was born to live in big cities with lots of people and things to do... but i've come to realize that i really know nothing about this place and i need to go into this with an open mind and a good attitude. 

luckily i have a friend who grew up in bakersfield and knows all of the good areas to live in and the areas we need to stay away from so it's nice having her help while we find somewhere to live. we will be moving there literally as soon as we find a place.. it's all happening so fast.. 

i really am excited for this new adventure.. i am so happy to get out of the cold and it will be so fun to be less than 3 hours away from my family. it will be nice for brooklynn to be able to play and ride her bike outside.. and we can start going on walks again!! but it will be so sad to leave curtis' side of the family out here. it has been so nice living close to them and i love them so much that it is going to be really hard to leave them.. it will also be really hard to leave my friends that i have here.. and the ward we are in. i absolutely love it! 

and who am i going to go to dinner with and spend hours and hours talking about one direction with when i'm living so far away from kaitlin? ahhh

so as you can see this is going to be a bitter sweet transition but i am feeling optimistic.

i am ready to start this new chapter of our lives.

changes

there are going to be a lot of changes around here pretty soon. good changes. stressful but good changes. curtis got a new job working for vivint solar and we will be moving in about 3-4 weeks.. we actually don't know exactly where we will be moving.. somewhere in either southern california for arizona. we will find out where sometime in the next 3-4 weeks and then we will immediately move. but for now curtis is working in orange county and i'm staying here with the kids getting everything packed up and ready to go so when we get the word we can go asap. it's a pretty stressful time and it's not going to be fun being here without curtis. i have a hard time sleeping when he's gone because i get mega paranoid and every little noise is magnified and i freak out and start thinking crazy stories in my head and i usually end up staying up really late which isn't good when you have littles who like to be up bright and early! or should i say dark and early since a lot of the time the sun isn't even up yet. 

i must admit, i am getting really excited about moving somewhere much warmer than here but i am also going to miss utah a bit.. i will miss our family and friends out here the most. and it really is beautiful here but as a california girl i am most definitely not going to miss the winter here. not at all. hopefully we will find out where we will be going soon.. i just need to make it through these next couple of weeks and then everything is going to fall into place. crazy that we are actually moving. i will definitely let you know as soon as i know! ah

bowling / / weighing in

today we headed down to the provo beach resort for some bowling and games. it was brooklynns first time bowling and she absolutely loved it. we picked up grandma on the way and made her come with us. it was so much fun having her with us today! it had been 3 years since i'd been bowling and i don't know why we haven't been going more. it's so much fun! you'll notice in the photos that i smoked everyone! also, playing all of the arcade games. i felt like a little kid in there having so much fun playing. it was a great day! 

^^ notice, i smoked everyone! curtis didn't have a great game today.. brooklynn beat him too! haha :) ^^

on a different note:

i had said in my new years resolutions i was going to weigh in at the end of each month to track my progress but i of course need to post a starting weight which i really don't want to do but i must...

165 is the current weight.

end goal: 115

it. will. happen.

happy new year

i can't believe 2014 is already here. 2013 was a great year. lots of great things happened. we moved. we had a baby. curtis graduated with his masters. and so much more. 

i really love new years because it makes me fee like i can start fresh. a new beginning. i love that. normally i make a huge list of resolutions that never get accomplished and i'm not going to do that this time around… this year i am only making two.

the first one is that i want to read 12 books. it doesn't have to be one a month or anything specific like that. just 12 books this year. 

the second one is that i want to lose 50 pounds. i've really lost myself after having two kids and i am officially ready to get it back. by the end of this year i want to be back at my pre baby weight and i know it can do it. i will post my starting weight tomorrow and at the end of each month i will post my weight. i've tried doing all sorts of things here on my blog about weight loss and i'm just not going to make huge commitments for logging things here because i never follow through. this is simple enough. the last day of every month i will post my new weight and hopefully it's less and less each time until i hit my goal. it. will. happen.

here's to a great new year. a year of positive changes. 2013 you've been great but 2014 you will be the best one yet!

christmas 2013

this christmas was probably the most mellow christmas i've ever had and it was great. christmas eve was spent at my in laws house where we had a mary and joseph dinner where we eat only what marry and joseph may have had to eat such a bread, and cheese and fish and so on. then i of course had to make a last minute trip to target. christmas eve at our own home was fun. we have never spend christmas eve and christmas morning on our own before and it was pretty fun to do it with just us. brooklynn and quinn opened up their first present which had their christmas PJ's. we put cookies out for santa and carrots out for the reindeer. we only had a few carrots left since brooklynn loves carrots and ate almost all of them. silly girl. 

both girls slept in our room that night since i didn't want brooklynn getting up and seeing everything before we got up and quinn is just so sick with this nasty cold that i wanted to have her close.

chirstmas morning was hilarious. you have got to watch the video of brooklynn coming out and seeing everything. apparently she wanted a magic scooter and not a regular scooter. hahaha. she of course later was super excited and has been non stop riding her scooter but her first reaction was pretty hilarious and will be very fun to have for years to come.

after we opened presents we went back to my in laws for a yummy breakfast. more gift opening and a yummy chirtsmas lunch. we also played games and watched despicable me 2.  it was a pretty amazing day and we had a blast. so sad that christmas is over! i am already counting down the days until next year! christmas is so much more fun with your own kids! and it just gets more and more fun as the kids get older!

i hope you all had a very merry christmas! 

until next year!

^^so many pieces!^^

^^taken with my new iPhone lens that curtis got me!^^

you have got to watch this video of B coming out and seeing everything. 

such a funny kid!!

family!!

This past sunday Curtis, Brooklynn and I headed down to visit some of his family that lives down in Grand Prairie. I was very excited to meet more of the amazing people that make up Curtis' side of the family. I am beyond blessed to have married into such fabulous family!!!

We all had so much fun! One reason I am sad to leave Texas is that it will be so long before we get to see all the wonderful people who live here!!

my thoughts on wichita falls, tx so far.

I have now been living in Wichita Falls, Texas for a little over a week. Six more weeks and we move to Ft. Worth. I'm going to be honest when I say.. I cannot wait to move.

I was not born to live in a small town. I know there are a LOT of people who love living in small towns but I am just not one of them! I don't know why I'm just not.

I need lots of things to do. LOTS. I need malls, and pools, and zoos, and children's museums, and regular grocery stores, and lots and lots of people. 

That's how I was raised. I grew up in Orange County, California where there are a LOT of people and that is how I like it.

Now here's the thing, the bugs in Texas are OUT OF CONTROL! I mean come on! Why do there have to be so many bugs? My husband constantly is making fun of me because I am always talking about them. They freak me out.

If I'm going to be dealing with all of these bugs. I want to be in a fun place. Like Ft. Worth of Dallas. Where there are lots of things taking up my attention other than the bugs.

ALSO, our apartment backs up to the freeway. No joke. You walk out the back door and it's about 15 feet until you're standing in the middle of the freeway.. with no fence..  um hello? how is my child supposed to play outside while at home? She absolutely doesn't get to. It would take her literally about 15 seconds to be on the freeway. AH just the thought stresses me out!!

Today I drove through Sonic to get a drink and as I'm waiting I see a girl squish a moth with her hand wipe it off and then grab my drink and hand it to me. I almost threw up a little. But I drank my diet coke because that's what addicts do. HA!

But anyway, I can deal for 6 weeks. I hope. I just very much look forward to moving to Ft. Worth!

Cash Elliott Duran

My sister and brother-in-law welcomed their sweet baby boy

Cash Elliott Duran

yesterday 4-22-2012, at 12:52pm.

7 lbs 6oz, 19 1/2 inches

and beautiful as ever! 

I am so sad that I'm not there to hold me newest nephew! 

He makes my 6th nephew!!

Congrats Ashley and Jeff!!!

missing mimi and papa

my little brother is married!

4.7.2012

My little brother Scotty married a beautiful girl Brittany! 

I love her and I'm so happy she is now a part of our family!

Congrats you two!!