suddenly.

having a child is such an amazingly strange thing. becoming a parent for the first time really changes you in a way that you can't quite understand until it happens. this first child, the one who makes you a mommy holds this really special place in your heart. i've been thinking about this a lot as we get ready to bring in a new member to our family. how will she fit in to this mix? will brooklynn be jealous? i have no idea what is going to happen. all i know, is that no matter what it's going to be amazing. and i know that even though it seems like i can't love anymore because i already love brooklynn with all my heart that my love with just grow and grow with every member of our family. it is such an amazing feeling, but at the same time it's so scary. bringing these innocent perfect little ones into this rough world. counting on me to help them and teach them and encourage them to become good people in this world. it's up to me, to show them, mostly by my example how to be good and kind people. that to me seems to be the most important job in the world. 

today, as brooklynn napped i watched les miserables. there is a song that hugh jackman sings to a little girl that for some reason the lyrics just hit me hard as i've been preparing to bring another little girl into this world and already taking care of my sweet toddler. the trust that she has in me to take care of her is incredible and absolutely terrifying. i pray daily that i will be able to live up to what she and this new sweet baby girl deserve. 

suddenly -hugh jackman

Suddenly I see
Suddenly it starts
When two anxious hearts
Beat as one.
Yesterday I was alone
Today you walk beside me
Something still unclear
Something not yet here
Has begun.
Suddenly the world
Seems a different place
Somehow full of grace
And delight.
How was I to know
That so much love
Was held inside me?
Something fresh and young
Something still unsung
Fills the night.
How was I to know at last
That happiness can come so fast?
Trusting me the way you do
I’m so afraid of failing you
Just a child who cannot know
That danger follows where I go
There are shadows everywhere
And memories I cannot share
Nevermore alone
Nevermore apart
You have warmed my heart
Like the sun.
You have brought the gift of life
And love so long denied me.
Suddenly I see
What I could not see
Something suddenly
Has begun.