long nights.

it's been a while since i've posted in here. i really am going to be better. i miss this little space of mine. 

right now i am sitting on my couch thinking about this long day that is ahead of me. we are about two and a half weeks away from our sweet baby girl's arrival and i'm pretty sure brooklynn is starting to sense that things are about to change... an already super attached mamas girl is now a "mama has to do everything for me or i am going to throw a gigantic tantrum" girl. let's just say it's really rough on me who has barely enough energy to get by on my own and for curtis who isn't really a fan of not being able to help her.

i mean, clearly this has got to be a phase but it's really starting to wear on me.. especially because for the past couple days she hasn't been sleeping very well and i am up for many hours of the night. yes i know this is what is coming anyway and i am okay with that. but at this point of my pregnancy my back is seriously killing me and sitting next to her and scratching her back like she wants me to is hurting me pretty bad.

at this point i am just not sure what to do with her other than just wait out this phase and hope it gets better. because if it doesn't... those first few weeks with baby are going to be... interesting. ha

i love brooklynn so much and i just want her to be happy and i just hope we can figure this out. because since she isn't sleeping she's having a hard time in the day. and that is just no fun for anyone involved. 

so wish us luck that we can figure out this funk and get back to all of our happy selves... so i don't go crazy. cause everyone knows that no one likes a crazy mom. :)

^^love these two^^

suddenly.

having a child is such an amazingly strange thing. becoming a parent for the first time really changes you in a way that you can't quite understand until it happens. this first child, the one who makes you a mommy holds this really special place in your heart. i've been thinking about this a lot as we get ready to bring in a new member to our family. how will she fit in to this mix? will brooklynn be jealous? i have no idea what is going to happen. all i know, is that no matter what it's going to be amazing. and i know that even though it seems like i can't love anymore because i already love brooklynn with all my heart that my love with just grow and grow with every member of our family. it is such an amazing feeling, but at the same time it's so scary. bringing these innocent perfect little ones into this rough world. counting on me to help them and teach them and encourage them to become good people in this world. it's up to me, to show them, mostly by my example how to be good and kind people. that to me seems to be the most important job in the world. 

today, as brooklynn napped i watched les miserables. there is a song that hugh jackman sings to a little girl that for some reason the lyrics just hit me hard as i've been preparing to bring another little girl into this world and already taking care of my sweet toddler. the trust that she has in me to take care of her is incredible and absolutely terrifying. i pray daily that i will be able to live up to what she and this new sweet baby girl deserve. 

suddenly -hugh jackman

Suddenly I see
Suddenly it starts
When two anxious hearts
Beat as one.
Yesterday I was alone
Today you walk beside me
Something still unclear
Something not yet here
Has begun.
Suddenly the world
Seems a different place
Somehow full of grace
And delight.
How was I to know
That so much love
Was held inside me?
Something fresh and young
Something still unsung
Fills the night.
How was I to know at last
That happiness can come so fast?
Trusting me the way you do
I’m so afraid of failing you
Just a child who cannot know
That danger follows where I go
There are shadows everywhere
And memories I cannot share
Nevermore alone
Nevermore apart
You have warmed my heart
Like the sun.
You have brought the gift of life
And love so long denied me.
Suddenly I see
What I could not see
Something suddenly
Has begun.

that time we went to the pool at bed time.

Tonight my little brother Scott and his wife Brittany decided to come over to go to the pool. It's nice that it stay light out so late so this is possible. I decided to forget about the fact that it was pretty close to Brooklynn's bedtime and hit the pool. 

We had a blast! Brooklynn absolutely loved jumping into the pool with her Uncle Scotty. The only thing that was missing was Curtis. Man, I miss him. But we really do have a little fish. She could spend all day every day at the pool.

we moved!

A lot has happened over the past couple weeks. Curtis got a new job which requires him to travel a little more during the summer with me and B staying at home. For a while we had been looking to move into a bigger place since our second little one will be arriving soon. We decided this was a sign to move a little closer to family since Curtis will be gone more. So we decided to look down in Utah County which I didn't think we would ever do. We really do love Salt Lake. But we felt like it was the right thing to do at this time.. and let me tell you.. I am SO happy we did this. We found the most perfect basement apartment in Eagle Mountain. It was a little bit far West for me but it has turned out to be amazing. We are only about 3 miles from my in-laws which is so nice to be able to see them so much more! 

So we told the management that May would be our last month there and started packing up. Curtis had to go out of town for the last two weeks of that month so we were planning on moving on the last day of the month with a TON of work to do. My amazing parents came to town and we decided to move our entire house without Curtis knowing. It was a TON of work but we pulled it off and it was amazing. He was pretty excited when he got home from his long work trip thinking he was going to have to do all this packing and moving only to find out it was all done! So a HUGE thanks to my parents and everyone who helped us move! You guys are the best!!

We've now been in our new place for about 3 weeks and are absolutely LOVING it here. I think I am happier here than I have been anywhere else we have lived. The people out here are absolutely amazing. We love our ward. It's so friendly and there are a ton of kids which is so good for Brooklynn. There is a great sense of community out here that is so comforting. Not to mention we hit the jackpot with the people who live above us in the main part of the house. They are so nice and welcoming. I love them already! 

So things have been pretty good over here. We have been filling our days with lots of outdoor activities! By the end of every day we are all pooped! It's awesome. 

And now an overload of photos.. 

just a few funny videos

Today is my sister in laws birthday and my little brother had to work this morning so Brooklynn and I headed over to pick her up for some breakfast and fun!

We had kneaders for breakfast, then roamed Target, and ended our morning/afternoon at the Provo Beach Resort. 

Here are a few funny videos I captured at Provo Beach Resort of Brooklynn. She was having a blast!!

old mcdonald had a farm

Yesterday Brooklynn and I headed to this little farm at Thanksgiving Point. We had more fun than I thought we were going to have.. 

It's not very big, but they have a wagon ride pulled by horses and a pony ride. Brooklynn really enjoyed both.. Well, for the first part. It seems like after she's doing something like a pony ride she LOVES it and will be laughing and having so much fun and then all of a sudden she's over it and wants to be done. She's so funny.

I love doing activities with my sweet girl.. as she gets older they just become more and more fun. She's the bomb.

Today my girlfriend Kaitlin came over and we got 5 Guys and chatted. I love hanging out with her so much. I think she is probably the easiest person for me to talk to. Love her so much! 

spring has sprung... kinda

It seems like spring/summer is finally starting to make it's way around which I cannot be more thankful for. I'm so sick of the season of sickness and cold. ha

I am ready to get outside and so is Brooklynn. 

She just got a new bike and she is LOVING it! I knew she would like it she's been asking for one for a while but I had no idea what to expect. It took her a minute to get the hang of it but now she full on knows what she is doing and it makes her look like such a big kid. I sort of can't handle it. 

In other news... I'm 23 weeks today... more than half way done. I can't decide if this pregnancy is going fast or slow.. sometimes I feel like she will be here before I know it and I get all freaked out because I'm not ready.. But then other days I feel like it's going so slow and I just want her to be here!! 

We have made a big decision to leave the Salt Lake area and move to Eagle Mountain/Lehi area.. This was hard for me because I LOVE Salt Lake so much and I really didn't want to make that move to the other side of the mountain. But it's what feels right for our family right now. We will be living in a 3 bedroom place which will be nice to have a space for the new baby. And not to mention we will be living about 3 miles from Curtis' parents which will be so nice! I love spending time with them and it will be nice to drive 3 minutes and be there rather than 30. Happy times! 

So that's what I will be doing for the next couple weeks.. packing up once again.. I think this might be our 10th time moving since we got married... now that is just insane!! You think id be really good at it by now, but I think I just hate it more and more every time! Especially being 5 months pregnant.. not great timing but I have a really good feeling about where we are moving next and hopefully we'll be there for a while..