can't sleep..

life...

life is not easy. my husband is on the other side of the country, my back hurts pretty much all of the time, i feel like i have lost a lot of friends, i am alone a lot and i feel lonely. i have been thinking about this all a lot lately and i've come to the conclusion that i am looking at this all wrong. yeah my husband is on the other side of the country but he is doing what he has to do to support our family and i am so thankful for that and i love him for that very much and in no time we will be reunited and on our way to starting a beautiful family. my back does hurt but it's a very small price to pay for what i am getting in return, i am getting a baby. a daughter. i can deal with the pain to have her in my life. i love her so much. i have lost some friends along this journey i've been on but it's been good for me. it's made me realize who my true friends are. the ones who have really stuck it out with me through everything and have not judged me at all. and even though the number of those people is very small they are a huge part of my life and i am thankful for them. and being alone isn't such a bad thing. i have time to read my scriptures, read other things i like, exercise, think, pray, learn, spend time with my amazing family, and pretty much anything i want. once my baby is born my life is going to revolve around her and i am so excited for that. but this is good for me to take this time and become the person i've always wanted to be and be happy so that i can be the best mother to my baby girl i can be. and to be the best wife i can be because curtis is a hard worker and he takes care of me. he deserves the best and i will spend eternity trying to be the best wife i can possibly be. well, that is my rant for the night. goodnight everyone!